Always and forever
by ladycopwiththebedroomvoice
Summary: One shots about Carlisle and Esme's lives together.    P.sI don't own anything!
1. Second Chances

Second Chances

A grandmother is a mother who has a second chance.  
>- Author Unknown<p>

I watched intently as Rensesmee gracefully danced around the room. Her beautiful brown eyes catching mine with a sparkling twinkle. She dashed over to my side in an instant, eager to spend time with her grandma for the first time in a few days. She stared at me and starting giggling uncontrollably.

"Grandma, I love you." She said impishly

"I love you too, Nessie.''

She made her onto the couch and climbed into my lap. Her head was suddenly on my marble chest .Then; she looked up and smiled adorably

"You are beautiful Nessie. You have eyes just like your Momma used to have.'' I ran my fingers through her soft caramel ringlets.

"But you have your daddy's hair."

Renesmee placed her dimpled hand against my cheek, and with her gift, she was tried to convince me that I was much prettier than her. I was automatically shaking my head in disagreement. She took me back to last week and played a moment between Carlisle and I from her point of view; Carlisle's arm draped lovingly across my shoulders as we sat on the bench on the porch. Our skin glittering like diamonds, a million different colored facets in the sunlight.

''See.''

She said disgruntled as she kicked her pink ballet shoes off and wiggled her foot in the sun. Her skin was undeniably beautiful, but only had a faint luminosity. Her skin wasn't as much of a spectacle as any of the rest of our family .Which was good, because then we wouldn't have to keep her in on a sunny day .She looked back up at me and frowned.

"Grandma isn't beautiful."

I said softly .The sweet smell of cinnamon washed through the room. Carlisle, I thought. A smile instantly formed on my face.  
>"I don't think I can agree with that.'' He had already changed from his uniform and was now wearing a form fitting blue sweater and black slacks, he was the only man that had ever made me feel weak in the knees.<br>"Grandpa! "she squealed. He snatched her away from me and twirled her in the air.  
>"Put me down! Put me down! '' She screamed. Carlisle had an irrestsistable smirk on his face as he sat down next to me. Renesmee placed her hand on her grandfather's cheek.<p>

''She wants me to tell you that you are beautiful.''

His smile was more genuine this time.

''Fine .I'm beautiful, but you are much more beautiful than I am."

"Fine.' 'she said grudginly

She her hand on my husband's cheek again .Then smiled.

''Um…er...She wants us to kiss. 'He said embarrassingly.

If my cheeks could still burn with embarrassment, they would be. Carlisle's face was mere just inches from mine. Our lips barely brushed but yet, my whole body tingled with excitement. I tried not to show remorse on my face as his lips left mine. He smiled.  
>"I love you.'' He whispered almost inaudibly<br>"I love you too.''  
>Carlisle then began to go over the rounds he had today at the , after deep contemplation, he suggested that we soon take a trip to Isle Esme. I winked at him.<br>Renesmee's coral lips turned into an O. Her eyelids started to droop and her head slowly fell to Carlisle's chest. He sang softly to her as she slept. His voice gentle and soothing.  
>He was so good with children. It pained me to think that I would never be able to give him the babies that he deserved. My smile faded and I tried to hold back the emotions that were threatening to spoil the remainder of our evening together. I hid underneath my hair, grateful that I hadn't cut it prior to my changing. In the middle of doing so, a small whimper escaped my mouth. My hand immediately clasped over my lips.<br>"Esme?" As he turned my way, I moved more hair in front of my face.  
>"Esme?<br>"Sweetheart, Please look at me.'' His nimble fingers deftly moved my hair behind my ear. Instead of dropping back to his lap, his hand lingered on my face, softly caressing my cheek.  
>"Esme , talk to me.'' His topaz eyes were filled deep with compassion and sincereity.<br>"I'm sorry." I cried miserably. His eyes were filled with uncertainty and remorse.  
>" For what , my love?''<br>His hand slowly settled on mine, drawing heart shapes onto the back of my palm.  
>"It's all my fault! If I would have never jumped off that cliff, I still would have found you and I could have given you all the babies you desired. It's all my fault. You can still have babies. I don't deserve you. Why would you want to be with me anymore? I can't give you anything…You've given me so much.."<br>I broke out in sobs then, as Carlisle gently moved Nessie to his left shoulder and cradled me to his side.  
>" Shh, shh, shh .Love, Nothing is your fault. Everything happens for a reason. If I can't have a baby with you , then I don't want a baby at all. I would want my baby to be half of me and half of the woman I am in love with. If I left you, I wouldn't be able to have a baby with a woman I'm in love with, because there is only one, and that woman is you and only you. We can't have children though, but I'm fine with that, because God has still given me all I ever wished for and the things I forgot to wish for. "<br>He looked down at Renesmee then and smiled.  
>" I would never be able to leave you. You are my other half, my heart, the key to my soul, my soul mate, my lover , my wife, my partner, my best friend…You are so many things to me..You are my world. You have given me the family I had never dared to hope for. Without your love, we wouldn't be they way we are now."<p>

He stopped to brush several kisses across my forehead.

" I've loved you since the first time I saw you at sixteen years old. Your shy smiles bewitched me from the very beginning. I was a fool for letting you go.. It's my fault. I could have courted you and married you..You would have never had to go through all that you did. Esme, I love you so very much..If you only knew.."  
>I held him tightly and looked up into his eyes.<p>

" Carlisle, you are my are the best thing that has ever happened to are the only reason I am living. I love you.'' I kissed with him a great passion , his hand slipped to the nape of my neck and his lips settled on the lobe of my ear as he whispered.  
>"Forever.''<br>"Forever.'' I agreed.  
>We looked down to see Nessie staring at us. Her chocolate brown eyes filled with happiness .She pressed her hands against both of our cheeks.<br>" I love you too, Nessie.'' Carlisle and I said at the same time. We both looked at each other and smiled.


	2. Last breath

Feburary,1921

Esme's POV

"If I had to choose between loving you and breathing, I would use my last breath to say I love you."-Author Unknown

I sat on the cold, hard, iron bench, waiting for the sun to go down.

_My life is over_, I thought.

I stared out onto the horizon, where I could make out a blurred shape of a woman chasing after her young son, she was trying to keep hold of her son's hand, but he wriggled out of her grip, giggling and running away, the woman was tired, but you could see the happiness in her eyes; the unspoken pride of being a mother. She ran after him, he struggled to get away from her , but he was definetly new on his feet, not more than two years old, and she caught him without laughed and they disappeared into the distance.

I had been just as happy the other day,cradeling my little John in my arms, I had been a proud and happy mother, but now I was nothing but an upwright whore. I had betrayed my husband, fled from him, and killed my own baby.I could have saved him, I should have known there was something wrong when he started coughing in the was all my fault.I wasn't a mother ,and no man would ever want me . Besides, there was only one man I wanted, one that probably didnt even remember that I existed.

Tears flowed uncheck down my cheeks, I didn't care to wipe them away.

_What was the point anymore?_

I lifted my lifeless body from my place on the bench and walked towards the sun. My sobs became instantly worse and a sharp pain flew to my stomach, as if I had been stabbed. My back was tense and spasms flowed uncheck throughout it. I buried my face in my hands.

_Why?_

John's tiny dimpled hand reached out to my face in a memory, his big blue eyes mesmerizing. His eyes met mine and he began gurgling, I laughed and he smiled. He had been perfect. The perfect little baby boy, that I had always dreamed of having since I was a young girl. The only thing that had been missing was ,Carlisle. He had been my husband in every stray daydream and fantasy. His blonde hair would brush against my cheek as he kissed me goodbye each morning, and his golden eyes would sparkle when he would help John take his first steps...

Another sharp pain hit my stomach as I neared the edge of a cliff. I stared at the rocks below,they were jagged and sharp.I knew I should be afraid, but I wasn't. I stepped closer. My right foot slipped and I last words were.

"I love you Carlisle."

I would be with my baby soon and thats all that mattered.


	3. Console

June,1921

Carlisle's POV

"Love is more than Words; it is demonstrated through is manifested in the day -to -day occurneces of small kindnesses and spoken is lending a patient ear and taking time to care. " ~ Vincent van Gogh

I couldn't help but stare at the delicate bones of Esme's wrist as she descended down the staircase. I was glad she had finally emerged from her bedroom. She spent several days in her room at a time, only coming out to hunt. Even though she tried to be quiet, I could still hear her cries, muffled under her pillow as she mourned her son's death. It had pained me, to sit there and hear her cries, and it pained me even more to think, that I couldn't do anything to help.

Her amber eyes met mine when she caught me staring, she gave me and awkward smile that tugged at one of her dimples, and I chastised myself for my boorish behavior. I was then glad that my ears could no longer burn in embarrassment. I would still have to get used to having a woman in the house.

Her back was to me as she stood at an oak bookshelf, that was nearly twice her size. She silently contemplated on what she should read , and settled on Jane Austen's _Pride and Prejudiced._

I smiled, she was a hopeless romantic.

She turned back around, and I ducked my head and continued to read. She was trying to decide on where she would sit, she started towards the armchair across from me, but then , right as she was about to sit down, she changed her course, and sat down next to me on the sofa.

My smile was ridiculously large this time, and she noticed. She smiled back, it was a dazzling smile and she looked so young when she did it. As is she were still sixteen. I couldn't help but gawk, after a smile like that she had certainly gained my attention. My eyes rested on an adorable freckle rigth underneath her right eye. Upon our first meeting, she had dozens of sun -kissed freckles, but now it was down to just one, and I'm glad it survived the transformation. She lifted her hand to her cheek and stared out the window. Her eyes were blank, and her face had fallen compltely slack. My stomach felt hollow and I instantly felt sorrow for her. I couldn't imagine what it would have been like to lose a child.

She had turned her head and her caramel ringlets covered her face. She had sucked in a shaky breath of air and a small whimper escaped her mouth. She clasped both hands over her mouth.

My guilt trippled as she started sobbing. I was wholly inexperienced when it came to this area of expertise . After growing up without a mother, and my father, being the uncompassionate man he was, emotions and everything that went along with it didnt come naturally to me. I struggled for a moment, unsure of what to do.

My hands went instintively in action, my arm had made its way around her shoulders and I had pulled her sobbing had stopped when I began rubbing her back in small circles.

"I'm sorry for your grief, if I could carry some of it for you, I would. Its so hard, to see you so sad everyday."I said softly

She started sobbing again.

"I'm sorry that I am such a burden to you and Edward. I'm sorry that I break almost everything in the house, despite my perfect memory ,sometimes I forget I'm a so hard, adjusting,I feel- I- she stammered. I don't feel exactly like myself."

"Its hard at first. I know it is, but thats why Edward and I are here, you aren't alone and we'll help you through this. Don't worry about breaking anything, you are doing considerably well;Edward during his first year, had managed to break about a warehouse full of furniture during his fits of just a part of this life. After more time passes, you will discover that things will get easier by the week. After your first year is up, you'll most likely be able to go into town again." I rubbed her shoulder abstently, savoring the closeness.

"Thank you, for everything." she whispered.

"Thank you, ever since you arrival, our family has been closer than , Edward finally has someone to talk to that isn't prattling on about a dozen inane subjects at once. He rather enjoys your company."

"Really? Sometimes it feels as if I'm boring him. I've never been much of a conversationlist."

"I think you are a very reasonable conversationlist." My hand had a mind of its own as it tucked one of Esme's curls behind her ear. Her heart -shaped face broke into another smile.

"Its almost time for you to leave."

I glanced at the clock. I didn't notice how much time had passed.

"Oh my, I'd better get going." I distangled myself from her bpdy and stood stood up also and threw her arms around my neck. I hugged her back.

"Thank you again." she whispered

"Your welcome." I rushed getting my coat on, grabbed my bag, and waved goodbye.

The earlier I got there, the sooner I could get home.


	4. Daydream

Disclaimer: I own nothing, all characters belong to the great and powerful Stephanie Meyer.

"Let those love now who never loved before; Let those who always loved,now love the more." ~ Thomas Parnell

_August ,1921_

_Carlisle's POV_

I had been sitting in my office, at my desk, for more than thirty minutes now, unable to remember one word from the page of the medical journal in front of me. I buried my face in my hands.

_Everything I saw reminded me of her. _

Not long ago, I had seen a butterfly fly past the window of my office. I automatically thought of Esme. I could imagine what her reaction might have been if she had been there to see it. She would have claimed my hand and hastily rushed me to the window, she would have chattered on enthusiastically about how the beauty of summer was much more interesting than the winter, and how everything was so fragrant, and bright...

Her face had floated through my mind. Her dazzling smile had tugged at each dimple endearingly, causing a involuntary smile to rise uncheck upon my face. Her eyes were a bright amber, and as she blinked I could see the length of her dark, thick lashes. She was beyond beautiful. She resmebled many of the well known greek goddesses and to have her in my presence daily, was unfathomable. Her lithe form was amazingly attractive, her body was small and soft, the exact opposite of my own hard and angular body. Her hips were deliciously rounded, the outcome of being changed only a handful of days after childbirth.

A shameful tingle crawled up my spine as I tried desperately to diminish the memories of Esme's curvy hips. I tried again for the fith time in an hour to read the medical journal before me. Its pages proved to be nothing of a distraction and I immediately decided my lunch break was over.

I stood up and made my way to the nurses station, one of the younger nurses , Charlotte, had looked up at me and gave me a wanton smile.

_Oh please, not again._

In the last few weeks, Charlotte had made a several unsucessful attempts to try to get me to notice her. At first, it had been the normal reactions from every other nurse that caught a glance of me, but after some odd weeks, things had gotten considerably worse. It had led to dropping things in front of me, so that I got a full view of her behind, getting up to hand me a patient chart, just so she could 'accidently' brush up against my arm and dropping pens , so that when I picked them up for her, she could touch my hand. Her actions at least, had been very irritating. I was most certainly not interested, and I was rather sick of her harassing me. I took a deep breath.

"Hello, ."

"Hello Charlotte."

"I have several new patients charts waiting for you" she stood and handed me several charts, but this time, didn't try to touch me at all.

",you look so tired and hungry. You are in need of a nice home cooked meal. If you would like , after you shift ends -"

I sighed.

"Thank you for the offer, Charlotte, but unfortunately, I have to get straight back to my nephew after my shift. He is very ill and needs my assistance."

"Oh, maybe some other time then." her face fell slightly as I walked away without another response.

"Actually, now that I think about it, I am not feeling to well myself. Can you tell that I will be leaving for the evening?"

"Yes,of course."

I hurried to my office, grabbed my bag, and made my way home.

o0o

As I made my last few steps towards our small farmhouse, I heard Esme humming contently. The vibrations hardly making up a tune, but they were beautiful all the same. The humming stopped as I neared the door. While wiping my feet off Esme approached me.

"You're home early."

"There wasnt much of a need for me to be at the hospital today, it was very they sent me home." I lied. I had only come home just to see her.

"I suppose thats good and bad, nobody was seriously injured today, but yet on the other hand, you are stuck at home with boring old me." she teased

"I certainly wouldn't describe you as boring." I smiled

She paused for a moment before she spoke.

"How _would _you describe me then?"

I silently debated on what I would say next.

"Intelligent, insightful, charming, and while I'm still going on about you, I like what you've done with the living room."

She smiled adorably and her next response was slightly chargrined.

"Thank you, when you coop someone up like me in a house all day, we have a tendency to move all the furniture around until it suits our liking."

I chuckled softly.

"Despite your strange habits ,it looks very you for making this shabby old house a home."

I looked at her graciously

"I can't say that I've done that much."

"Oh trust me, you certainly have."

She smiled embarrassingly and touched her cheek.

"Would you accompany me on a hunt?"

"Of course." her smile grew even bigger.

I grabbed her hand and and she squeezed mine as we exited through the back door into the forest.

**Please r/r! **

**Ah, romance. lol. Carlisle and Esme are both no doubt already in love, but still havent admitted it to each other. This was what daily life was probably like before they admitted their feelings - flirty and innocent. **

**If you have any specific time periods or moments throughout the twilight series between Carlisle and Esme that you would like me to write about, do let me know. I am looking for new material to write about. Thanks!**

**-Kay**


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